Recently I had an argument with a friend. He is a cricketer. He had a very serious expression of disappointment on his face when I claimed that cricket was not a sport, but in fact, simply a game. And not a very good one at that. I shuffled backwards when I thought he was going to hit me, which led to me inform him that boxing is a better sport. He scoffed in a very cricket-like way when I said this. And, so I told him I would prove it by writing it down.Every Saturday morning (only in the summer of course, and when it isn't raining and the weather man comes on TV with his smiley face and promises it definitely won’t be raining) he strolls down to the local cricket field where he puts on multiple layers of white/beige clothing. He wears white trousers that look like they are made of cheap imitation silk. And he puts on a thick white woolly jumper. It is so thick a whole sheep has definitely been used in the process of making it. He only puts on his trousers after he has carefully placed a white (of course) plastic box over his groin area. This I am told is to protect his crown jewels from the solid red circular piece of wood, in the shape of a ball, that they 'bowl' at each other. He then covers his face in factor two-hundred and fifty, and folds wraparound sunglasses over his eyes. A Royal Marine in Iraq wears less protection during an ambush.I have watched him play once. I arrived at the ground early in the morning. The sun's rays were strong, but the woolly jumpers prevailed. A team of men and boys ranging from the ages of 14 and 144 jogged onto the pitch. As far as I could tell, at least fifty per cent of the 'fielding' team were clinically obese. And whilst watching the game I understood why. Nobody moved. Every player just stood still absolutely motionless, admiring the aeroplanes overhead, occasionally watching the bowler throw a ball towards the stumps strategically positioned behind the batsman (donned in white jumper and metal helmet of course). I couldn't help thinking 'what is the point of this?...Do these guys actually find this fun?...Do the spectators enjoy spending their weekends watching amateur cricketers stand around as if they forgot to move when someone told them the grass was being covered with tarmac, picking their noses, day dreaming about what else they could be doing on a sunny day in august?'. Surely even 'Country Life is more exciting'? But, then it became obvious. These guys don't actually enjoy watching or playing cricket. They enjoy the male company that comes with being part of a team, or spectators of the local cricket team. It is often asserted that there are no homosexual footballers. This always seemed very strange to me, since one in ten men are apparently gay. But, now it makes sense. They all play cricket. They bat for the other team. On Saturday mornings.There are no women at cricket games. Even the 'tea-lady' was male. I think. Every one who plays is normally very middle class. It is after all a gentleman's game. They are all white, and are balding (even the twenty-year olds). I don't like cricket. And I don't love it either. It is one of those British pastimes that claims sport stattus, one that we invented, but aren't any good at. That only a handful of countries around the world bother to play is testament to its pathetic nature. Secretly, including those that play it, nobody really enjoys cricket. Even commentators sigh at having to pretend to be excited watching a bunch of homesexual South Africans stand around on a field, occasioanlly screaming 'He's out', and then hugging each other when a piece of wood falls over.Boxing, on the other hand is a true and popular sport. Boxing fans really do appreciate its uniqueness and the skills involved. Nobody comes to watch boxing to drink tea and chat about the weather. Boxing as we know it today has emerged, but not changed much from the London Prize Ring Rules of the late eighteenth century. Admitedly, after a dull patch in the last couple of years, it is a sport that has experienced a recent surge in popularity especially in Britain, in part due to the successes of excellent British boxers like Joe Calzaghe, David Haye, and in particular the very likeable Ricky Hatton. It has also managed to fend off rival sports in the US, including MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) and cemented its position as the number one combat sport in the world. In Mexico, Mexican boxers are treated like Gods. In America, boxers are saluted in their home states as heroes, and in the Philippines, Manny Pacquiao is more popular than God.I like boxing, because it promotes respect. Ask anybody who has stepped into a ring if it has taught him or her to respect an opponent and they will answer in a firm toned, straight-eyes, very positive single syllabed ‘Yes’. Once you have been beaten up in the ring, you immediately find yourself to be a more humbled homosapien. You begin to respect everyone, teachers, parents, peers, no matter where they are from, regardless of colour, religion or creed. I have a cousin who boxes in Northern Ireland. The first thing he learned was that there was no sectarianism in the boxing gym. Any segregation that existed in the fractious communities in Belfast didn’t exist in the West Belfast Boxing gym. Boxing enabled black men in 50s and 60s America to achieve success and superstar status in a racist, divisive community. Joe Louis, the first African-American Heavy weight Champion of the World became a national hero, and cememnted his legendary status by representing his country, when he didn't have to, in World War Two.Boxing also promotes physical fitness. 'Super-fit' is about the only word capable of describing a boxer primed for a fight. Unlike cricketers, boxers train endlessly in an attempt to be at their peak level of fitness come fight night. To be anything less than at full fitness not only reduces your chances of success in the ring, but can lead to inury too. That is not to say boxing is a dangerous sport. It isn't. Protective head gear and the excellent training and supervision offered by dedicated coaches up and down the country mean boxing is as safe, if not safer than other sports.As a spectacle boxing is far superior to cricket in terms of enjoyment and entertainment. I can honestly say that I have never sat down and watched a cricket game and then come away enthralled at what I have just witnessed. It is almost a chore having to watch a game of cricket. It cannot provide the same sort of enjoyment or arouse passionate emotions like a boxing fight can. I genuinely can't count the number of times I have sat and watched a boxing fight, unable to remain calm and seated on my chair. The emotions it arouses watching two men at the peak of their sport challenge each other in the ring. It is as Roy Keane once exclaimed, 'the pinnacle of sport - one on one combat, with nobody to help you in there, except yourself'.Recently I was lucky enough to find myself in Las Vegas to watch Joe Calzaghe defeat one of the greatest boxers of his generation, Bernard Hopkins. The atmosphere in the Planet Hollywood arena was electric. With every punch thrown, the crowd ooed and awed, appreciating the skill and technique on display. Calzaghe won in front of a star-studded audience and we all (with the exception of Hopkins) went home happy and satisfied.My friend, boxing is certainly better than cricket.
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